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Slacker Gurl
Ever know someone like
this? The person who is sitting across from you, next to you, or talking
over the phone with you who is going on and on with the “what if”
scenarios. No they are not a detective trying to put together facts of a
case to catch the bad guy; they are your family member, your friend,
your neighbor, your coworker or even someone you just met who has
something going on in their lives that has caused them to travel to the
land of “what if”. It is in this land that they try to find some sort of
resolution. All the while you sit there firmly planted in reality
listening to them run on and on quietly asking yourself why they can’t
just come join you in the land of reality.
Reality isn’t so bad is it?
It’s real, it holds answers, and it is at least comfortable to be in
most of the time. So while you sit and listen, you continue to ask
yourself why this person is over in the land of “what if” and not over
in the land of reality. The answer is so clear even you can see it, not
to mention the fact that they themselves have only stated it about a
hundred times during their conversation with you. Why are they denying
it and instead trying to find the loophole?
These are
questions that one in reality can ask but one in the land of “what if”
will not want to answer. I used to visit the land of “what if” many
times to try to figure out bad experiences in my life with
relationships. In fact I would venture to say that the population in the
land of “what if” holds a high percentage of bad relationship residents.
The initial question that grants one access to this far off land is
usually one that asks why. Once that question has been asked, the door
opens, one enters and one would never notice how quickly that door shuts
as they wander off deeper into the land of “what if” as their endless
what if questions begin.
Here are some of the questions
from the land of “what if” that many of us will recognize. What If it is
because I didn’t communicate to them what they needed to hear? What if
it is because that night we went out and they wanted to go see an action
flick and I wanted to see a chick flick they just gave into me and said
no more after this, their out of here? What if I didn’t express my
feelings correctly about needing a little time to myself to do some
running around; things they just didn’t need to be there for and they
felt pushed out of my life somehow? What if it is because that night I
needed someone to hear me out and they thought everything I was
unloading was all about them? What if it is because their friends liked
me and that was too much for them to take? What if it was that little
hussy that was always hanging around, maybe they finally got their
attention and now them? What if it is because they never really liked my
best friend and I had them around? What if? What If? WHAT IF!
Have I driven you
crazy yet? Good, because I drove myself crazy and I can pretty much say
the residents of “what if” land are doing the same to themselves. The
question became one day, how do I make it stop because living in this
land of “what if” was making my life stop. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t
eating. I would laugh but only on the outside. I was driving away my
friends. I certainly was not about to approach the person who put me in
this land with my questions, my concerns, my feelings, my need for the
truth in the answers I was seeking. I was cutting myself short on a lot
of things that did not need to be.
Reality is this,
we all have to deal with our feelings, our fears, our hormones or more
simply put the rollercoaster ride that is the ending finale of a
relationship no matter how long or short of time that may have been.
Furthermore, the truth is that the one person who was the other half of
the relationship that caused all of this simply does not go through any
of what the other person is going through. Unfair? Well most definitely
the answer is yes! But alas, it is simply the truth and that truth
causes us to go into avoidance mode which leads us to the land of “what
if”. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t fun, and it isn’t anything that any of us
want. So knowing all of that, are you ready to learn the truth about
the land of “what if”? Good, here we go.
The truth about
the land of “what if” is that it is run by the supreme ruler Scenario.
This is the personal name I have given the ruler and once you know the
rulers name the battle to go back to the land of reality can begin.
Scenario is what you run yourself through when you ask the endless
what if questions. It’s a fact that humans have imaginations, we see
it every day in film, television, novels, our own lives, etc.
Imagination is the magician in the land of “what if”. You ask the
what if question, Scenario hears it and motions for Imagination to
create the answer for you to mentally see, hear and feel. Whoever said
that we aren’t all artists of some kind? The reality is that what we are
seeing, hearing and feeling is an illusion. It is a made up story to
answer our question that avoids the truth that is reality.
My battle started in the
bathroom mirror one morning after the end of an undesirable
relationship. As per usual I was trying to go through my morning routine
of showering, fixing my hair, brushing my teeth, putting in the contacts
and putting on makeup while being delayed by numerous amounts of tears.
Definitely not the way I intended starting my morning.
The cause of these
numerous tears, yep you guessed it, I was off in the land of “what if”
asking a million questions at a very fast rate and not loving the answer
I was getting in return, the truth. See the truth of what happened
hadn’t changed and nor was it going to. This is true for every resident
in the land of “what if”; but like I stated earlier when avoidance from
that said truth leads you there…yeah well. In this instance I was once
again used by a male that I let in my life AGAINST my better judgment.
Lucky me, I had the fortunate opportunity to beat myself up on two
fronts: one for letting someone in that even my dreams told me to dump
and the second for not trusting the signs of what was really going on.
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